Skip to main content

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

By
Category: Non-fiction on love in marriage relationships

Why I chose this book: Wanted to read it for a long time

Book length: Short

Concept: Dr. Chapman proposes that there are five love languages:

 Words of Affirmation - specific, positive and encouraging language. Eg. - I appreciate that you took out the garbage or that you work so hard for us or Dinner was amazing tonight!

 Quality Time: Time spent together doing something at least one partner enjoys. Both partners are engaged without distractions. Eye contact is important.

 Receiving Gifts: Tokens that show your partner was thinking of you. Gifts can be expensive or free, made or bought. A homemade card or a feather found on a walk can be just as meaningful as jewelry or a new computer. 

 Acts of Service - performing or helping with tasks important your spouse. Can be house or yard work, but may also be helping with projects for work or church. Anything that is overwhelming, demanding, or repetitive to the person being served. 

 Physical touch - Related to, but separate from marital intimacy. Those with the primary love language of physical touch feel comforted and loved when they receive pats on the shoulder, hugs and kisses, running your fingers through their hair, playing footsie under the table, or sitting close together while doing activities such as watching a movie.  

While we may feel love in small doses from each of these categories, but Dr. Chapman purports each of us have one category that primarily resonates with us. When our spouse shows us love by "speaking" our primary love language our love tank" is filled and we feel secure and happy within our marriage. If our spouse does not speak our love language or shows their love in a way that does not resonate with us, we feel unfulfilled.

For example, a husband works hard all day and when he comes home he wants the comfort of being close to his wife (a hug, kiss, or pat on the shoulder would suffice). She is busy with the kids and dinner preparations and brushes him away. Over months and years of this repeatedly happening, he feels unhappy because his love tanks is not being filled.  

A husband may feel he is being husband of the year by helping with chores around the house. His wife's primary love language, however, is words of affirmation. In this case, she would feel more fulfilled by him saying a sincere thank you for her efforts than by his help with the tasks themselves.
    
My personal opinion: I think there is some merit to this idea. I definitely think it's possible for us to think we are showing love to our spouse without it being received as such (not speaking their language). I'm not sure it's the answer to all marital problems, but it may be a good place for a couple to start if they are not feeling fulfilled in their relationship.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tap the Magic Tree by Christie Matheson

By
Summary: Every book needs you to turn the pages. But not every book needs you to tap it, shake it, jiggle it, or even blow it a kiss. Innovative and timeless, Tap the Magic Tree asks you to help one lonely tree change with the seasons. It begins with a bare brown tree. But tap that tree, turn the page, and one bright green leaf has sprouted! Tap again—one, two, three, four—and four more leaves have grown on the next page. Pat, clap, wiggle, jiggle, and see blossoms bloom, apples grow, and the leaves swirl away with the autumn breeze. (Amazon) Attention Span/reading level: Perfect for my three year old. I would say that ages 2-10 would really enjoy something like this. It really keeps kids engaged and makes them feel like part of the story. There is one word to one sentence per page. Good uses for book in teaching: Interaction, that the reader takes part in making the story, what a tree can do (leaves, blossoms, fruit) Favorite part:      Child: The fact that ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Balancing Act by Ellen Stoll Walsh

By
Summary: Two mice make a teeter totter. Soon a frog comes along and wants to join. Can the mice balance all the friends who want to play with them? Attention Span/reading level: 3-6 years old, usually 5 or less words on a page Good uses for book in teaching: Balance, science Favorite part:      Child: When the frog joins in     Mine: That the mice keep playing at the end  Least favorite part: None:   W arnings/negative feedback: None.  Review: This is a really simple but fun way to introduce the idea of balancing and weight to kids. It's fun to show them how it must be equal on each side to balance. Showing that size can affect weight is shown on the page where all the animals are on one side with the big bird on the other. This could be a fun activity to replicate with toys if doing a science lesson at home. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson

By
Brief synopsis (no spoilers) Vin relies on her fighting skills, and a little extra "luck" to survive in the thief's world. Then comes Kelsier, a master thief and planner, showing her that what she calls luck is really much more. Kelsier and his crew plan to use a variety of special powers to free an entire population of slaves, including themselves, from tyranny. But, as always, there's far more to the story. Category Science Fiction or Fantasy Why I chose this book Rated highly on the library site My personal opinion (the review) Definitely the best story I've read in the past year. I'm really looking forward to the next book in the series. Special abilities, fighting, romance, social justice - this has it all. And not a single bad word or uncomfortable situation. Warnings Language: None Violence: frequent, some mildly graphic "Adult" situations: None Death: Some, and of major characters Movie rating equivalent PG-13 Protagon...
Post a Comment
Read more